Home Culture The Mysterious DEA Lawyer Strikes Again

The Mysterious DEA Lawyer Strikes Again


Two weeks ago, a writer at the Santa Monica Observer posted an article that shouted to the world that the United States Drug Enforcement Agency has officially decided to reschedule cannabis in the Controlled Substances Act – but that they wouldn’t be doing so until August of this year. Now, just after the supposed deadline the DEA set for themselves on this decision has passed, he has come forward for a second interview.

He starts off the interview with a story of “big pharma people” and DEA leadership discussing the classification of marijuana. The story explains that the “big pharma people” want the DEA to reschedule cannabis so that they can get in on the money being made by the medical marijuana industry. Things do start to get concerning early on in the article – which I hope turns out to be a typo.

“Why don’t you just let us go ahead and sell a few products, THC extract, TBD oil, so we can all make some money.”

The two main extracts from cannabis are THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol) and CBD (cannabidiol). I truly hope this part was a simple typing error – but it shouldn’t go overlooked.

After that, the interview started off simply enough, the first question addressed insurance coverage for cannabis – which he says would be covered by most policies. The second question, however, turned out to be more of a statement congratulating the mysterious lawyer for coming forward when no one else had word on the DEA’s upcoming decision.

In response, “Deep Throat” made a similar bold claim as before – “The decision has already been made, folks. Schedule II marijuana is in the works. We’re just working out the details before we go public with it.”

The majority of the questions asked were filled with statements between the questions – mostly pointing to the potential downfall of the cannabis industry as we know it. However, as I mentioned previously and others have explained as well, state-level laws are already working in spite of a Schedule I status (and are, in some ways protected, from the feds) – so why would they start cracking down when it is deemed a little bit safer in the eyes of the government?

Another statement disguised as a question, number four claims that it would be difficult to legalize the entire cannabis plant, saying that parts of it are harmful. They further explained that THC is mood altering and harmful to those under 25 and that there is a link between THC and schizophrenia, reduced motivation and education.

“Deep Throat” claims that this is another reason for the reschedule – in order to aid research, clinical trials and human studies on cannabis. In a following question, a reader asks what the patients are to do if the type of medicine they need is no longer available (again, assuming the state-wide industry would be removed); he responds by saying the readers are “obviously smoking too much weed” and that if it were a prescribed medicine they would know that anxiety and paranoia are side effects of “too much pot”.

The last question is the one we all want to know the (true) answer to – will marijuana be rescheduled this year? (The question is phrased “legalized” but Schedule II is hardly legal, think cocaine or OxyContin.) The answer provided by “Deep Throat” is a simple one – “Yes. Because there’s too much money to be made.” Of course, he also mentions that they owe it to the 25 million daily marijuana users – but comes back to “there’s too much money to be made”.

So while I still would not say to call this fact – not by any means – we have the idea here that this DEA lawyer is trying to let everyone know that cannabis will be rescheduled; but he’s trying to put fear into the entire industry that they will be shut down. There are protections in place for medical marijuana businesses – and marijuana businesses working within state-level laws.



  1. Sorry, but that “interview” seems too fake and written very poorly. I can barely believe the interviewer met anyone outside of their own delusions.

    First, the part about the harmful effects of THC, schizophrenia, and so forth, really irks me. Evidence does not confirm those implications. The way such questions and statements were made had a very overly dramatic sense. I felt like their should’ve been sobbing at some point by the writer. It’s ridiculous.

    Second, I don’t doubt that the DEA will reschedule cannabis, and it probably will move it to level II (it should be descheduled). But the article clearly wants to paint the DEA as evil, and what better way than a one-dimensional caricature portraying all aspects that people despise and imagine of a DEA agent. BTW, I don’t like the DEA, and I’m not defending it. The portrayal felt more like a mechanism to prevent the reader from objectively reading the “interview”.

    Third, the interviewer is the DEA agent!!!!! They are just crappy at writing. 😀

  2. July 2016 will go down in history books as when marijuana finally got downgraded off schedule I. There is simply just too much unrest in the country now. Keeping marijuana schedule I would bring violence, I believe. The sheeple have woken and they’re sick of being ruled like dogs.